Camilo
by MykEsprit
Summary: As punishment for their post-tundra "sexcapade," Auror partners Hermione and Draco are sent to survival training in a desert.


Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling.

 **A/N: A birthday fic for ravenclaw-sass!** Camilo is an inside joke in a certain group of enabler friends, so I thought it would be fitting! Hope your day was fantastic!

This is a companion piece to **Codename: Frosty** , but you don't have to read it to understand this short story.

* * *

The sun baked the ground, heating the air above the sand in shimmering waves. There were no trees to help them escape the merciless rays, and the bushes—dotting the landscape as far as the eye could see—were too low to provide any shade.

"This is bollocks," grumbled her partner at her side.

Hermione grabbed a handful of sand and playfully tossed it in his direction. "This is all your fault."

Draco angled his head and smirked. "Worth it."

Despite their predicament, a smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "It really was." With a sigh, she stood and extended a hand to her partner. He grabbed it, and she eased him up to his feet. "We broke the rules, so I suppose we need to be punished one way or another."

Draco scoffed. "We were done with our mission—neutralized the target. So what if we decided to go on a celebratory trip afterward? You know, they say power corrupts, so even ol' scarhead isn't immune—"

Hermione nudged him with her elbow. "Harry's just doing his job. I mean, we barely wrapped up the mission before we went on a 'sexcapade,'"—she drew quotation marks in the air—"as you called it. It was hardly professional."

"No." He winked. "But it was fun."

She chuckled, rolling her eyes at his cheekiness. "Honestly, I'd rather go through a survival module than be reassigned a partner." She squinted against the harsh sunlight, noting landmarks before they decided where they should head. "Our rendezvous point is about eighty kilometers due east. We can get there on foot in two to three days." She frowned. "If this heat doesn't get us first."

"Right. First I freeze my bollocks off in the Arctic tundra, and now I'm sweating them off in a desert in Central America." He sighed dramatically. "What a glamorous life I lead."

* * *

Draco wiped the sweat off his brow, trying to ignore the stinging of his sun-seared skin. "Bloody Potter," he hissed. "I'm not exactly built for these conditions."

"Not a lot of creatures are built to survive the desert." Hermione settled into her 'lecture' tone easily—although her voice was rather breathy from hours of hiking.

He groaned. "For the love of Merlin, Granger. I'm already undergoing all sorts of torture, please don't teach me desert facts right now. I'm hot and thirsty and somehow still randy—"

"You're always randy."

"—and I would give anything— _anything_ —for a cube of ice."

She pulled him along, and he bit his complaint back when her fingers wrapped around his sunburned skin. "Harry was very specific. We're not allowed to use magic on each other or on anything else. No Transfiguring a cactus into a vehicle; no summoning a bloody glass of water."

Draco stumbled to a halt.

"Malfoy?" She peered at him with concern. "What's the matter? Heat stroke?"

"Wait. So we're not allowed to use magic on any _thing_."

Hermione folded her arms over her chest. "Weren't you paying attention to our briefing?"

He shook his head. "You pay enough attention for the both of us."

She snorted.

"But Potter said no magic on anything or on each other," he repeated slowly. "He didn't say we couldn't use magic on _ourselves_."

Hermione huffed a laugh. "Well, I'm not about to turn myself into an ice cube for you."

Draco arched an eyebrow. "As much as I would love any excuse to lick you—"

Her face, red from the heat, deepened a shade.

"—maybe there is something I can do to help us."

She tilted her chin and gave him an incredulous look.

His feet shuffled, a wave of embarrassment suddenly overcoming him. "There's something I've never told you." He took a deep breath. "I'm…an Animagus."

Her eyebrows shot up her forehead. "Really?" she breathed. "An Animagus? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was afraid you wouldn't find my form…sexy."

Her head tipped back as she guffawed. After several seconds of Hermione clutching her belly as she laughed—and Draco getting more and more irritated—she finally said, "First of all, you silly man, you never have to hide anything like that from me. And second,"—she wheezed with mirth—"I don't find _any_ animal 'sexy.' I don't subscribe to bestiality."

"Oh," he said numbly.

As she took calming breaths and wiped the tears from her eyes, she asked, "So? What animal do you become?"

Draco cleared his throat. "I should probably just show you."

She blinked as Draco shifted in front of her, growing taller and longer. His limbs turned into spindly legs ending in broad, padded feet, and his back sprouted a hump.

"Oh, Draco," she murmured as she stepped towards him. She held his long face between her hands. "You're quite a handsome camel." Her nose crinkled. "If not a bit stinky."

Draco puffed a breath and stomped his foot.

She stroked his cheek. "At least you're more comfortable now. Let's go." She began to walk off.

He grunted, folding his legs underneath him.

Hermione glanced back. "What are you doing?"

He blinked at her slowly, swaying his head towards his hump.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Draco grunted, nudging his head again.

"You want me to…ride you?"

 _Don't be dense, Granger,_ he thought.

With a hesitant hum, she came back to him. "It would get us to town much faster. Are you sure?"

He released a wet snort.

* * *

It was a cold night without a fire, but Hermione had something even better—a snuggly, fluffy camel. She sat on the sand, still warm from soaking up the day's heat, while the stars slowly came out. As she leaned against him, her head bobbed up and down with each of his breaths.

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather turn back?" she asked.

Draco huddled closer to her, placing his heavy head against her shoulder.

Hermione laughed. "Good point. Probably much more comfortable for you right now." She pressed the side of her face against his shaggy hair. "For me, too."

He grunted.

They sat in comfortable silence as the moon peeked over the horizon.

"Dromo." She combed her fingers through his hair. "Dromie?" she murmured.

He sighed and twisted his neck to stare at her.

Hermione smiled. "I'm trying to think of a nickname for you in this form."

In the dim light, his thick lashes fluttered as his eyes rolled upward.

"You're a dromedary camel," she mused, "so how about…Darry?"

His body stiffened, and he released a brassy, blubbering complaint.

"All right, not Darry." Her fingers combed through his brown strands as she gazed at the stars. "Oh! What about the camel constellation? Camelopardalis?"

He huffed, though the muscles underneath her back slowly relaxed.

"You're right, that does seem like a mouthful. We could always try a variation. Pardy? Camelo?" She tested the sounds until she found a name that fell on her ears just right. "Hmm. Ca-mee-lo? How about Camilo?"

Draco sighed and nodded.

"'Camilo' it is." She hugged him closer as they settled in for sleep.

* * *

They walked into town by mid-afternoon.

Well, he walked into town; Hermione rode on top of him. It was not an altogether-uncomfortable experience, as long as he ignored the children laughing and pointing at him as they passed.

He grunted, internally debating the ethics of spitting on these terrible children and blaming it on animal habits.

Hermione patted the side of his neck. "Don't worry," she said, "they're not making fun of you. You're just a novelty; it's not like camels like you are common in this region."

Draco huffed and tossed his head.

"No." She laughed. "I suppose there's no camel in the world _quite_ like you."

They reached their rendezvous point on the other side of the village. Potter stepped out of a sandblasted, square house. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and stared at them. "Hermione?" He blinked. "Where the hell did you get that? And where's Malfoy?"

She jumped down. "Oh, hi, Harry! I didn't realize you'd be the one to extract us."

Potter blushed, combing his fingers over his floppy bangs. "It was the least I could do." He closed the distance between them. "It's my job to reprimand Aurors in my team who break policy—but I felt like a proper shite sending you out here for survival training. But I thought if you completed this module well—and I knew you would—it would show the higher-ups that you can still work together." His mouth twitched wryly. "Regardless of your relationship status."

Hermione clasped his hands. "Oh, Harry. I never doubted you would have my back on this."

Draco grunted and stomped in disagreement.

She threw him a look of caution before smiling at her prat of a best friend. "Thank you for giving us a chance to show the heads that we're still an effective team."

Relief flooded Potter's face. "I'm just glad you're all right." He glanced over Hermione's shoulder. "But, seriously, where _is_ Malfoy?"

She nudged her head over her shoulder.

Draco met Potter's green eyes, and he blinked lazily at his superior officer.

" _That's_ Malfoy?"

Hermione nodded.

With a snort, Harry said, "Well, he's certainly looked better."

Draco blubbered.

"Careful, Harry." Hermione leaned close to his ear and stage-whispered, "He's quite sensitive about how he looks in his Animagus form."

"I would be, too,"—Harry laughed—"if I looked like _that_."

With a bronchial _bruuuaaaahhhh_ , Draco filled his mouth with saliva, his cheeks bulging with the effort.

"Oh, dear," Hermione murmured as she stepped away from Potter. "Well, don't say I didn't warn you."

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! Reviews are appreciated!**


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